Hey, read the first and second parts before this. It all makes way more sense when you read them in order.
I've never seen resurection, nor instantaneous healing, cast out demons in Jesus name or feed thousands with the contents of a kid's lunch bag. But why not? Is it for lack of faith? Sin? Or is it because I've been led to believe, as my forefathers before me, that that's not the way God works anymore. The "church" and it's leaders would never intentionally lead people astray. Heck, I've been in leadership positions and I'm responsible at least in part for any damage done. I'm driving at the fact that I think I've been plodding along thinking this path is the right one, but how I'm moving along on it is all wrong. I feel as though I'm slowly placing one foot in front of the other, careful of each step, cautious of what's going on around me, just like the instruction book has been interpreted for me and what I think I heard the Holy Spirit say, but I'm not so sure cuz I can't really hear all that well, not really knowing how exactly. But now I have an invitation to take off running like a bat out of, well, some cave (couldn't say it) with Him being the blast of energy and power pushing me and yet leading me. Perhaps what we've seen in the past and tacked on to our basic belief in God is about to be blasted to bits leaving us with, well, just Him. Would you be ok with that? Would I? What would that even look like? Some how I don't think we see Him as He really is.
Don't get the wrong impression, I'm not all jumping off the pews, rolling on the floor, drunk in the spirit looking for an "experience" in God. Not apposed to it, just never been there. And I know it's not just all about the miracles, signs and wonders. BUT, have we limited His awesome power by programming every minute of our gatherings, keeping it all organized and under control? Have we grieved our Lord with the billions of $$ poured into bigger and better buildings and programs instead of focusing our time and resources on the widow, the orphan and the poor? Have we been lulled to complacency by our cozy, comfortable little huddles within the huddle? Worse still, are we walking in disobedience knowing that what we are doing may be the traditions of man instead of yielding to His spirit moment by moment? I don't have the answers. I'm searching and digging like never before, crying out for some bit of revelation and wisdom. So, if nothing else, all this has me running toward my Savior. If nothing else it's forced me to get serious instead of staying lazy. And all I can say is LORD HELP ME.
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing this, Dawn. I think that what you are learning is a natural progression of faith in a person's life. Like the growing pains we go through as Christian teens, making our faith our own, as adults and parents we want to continue in authenticity. I'm learning that God is most concerned with our hearts - and so WHAT we do is less of an issue than WHY.
In our society I think the biggest miracle in a Christian life is that of reconciliation. Some say the Christian divorce rate is higher than the non-Christian one - with God being in the ministry of reconciliation, this should not be. Our greatest testimony can be the miracle God has worked in our hearts, if we can learn how to share that with others.
So close to home, Dawn. I think I'm going to have to blog about something like this soon, too.
Hugs.
Angela, I agree. But what I'm finding is that what we fundamentally link to our faith, the actions/traditions/rituals are not necessarily biblical. Many are not out right sinful, but do in fact take attention away from who we are serving. The more I'm digging into this, the more I'm finding that the WHY behind much of what we do doesn't hold. You mentioned reconciliation as being forefront in terms of our testimony, and again I agree. That's what happened at the cross and was finished when Jesus defeated death when He rose the third day. Thanks for your imput!
Talena: I'll look forward to your thoughts when you post them.
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